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AT IT AGAIN;
Making the World Safe for...
This past Thursday, April 28th,
Congress began hearing testimony to consider whether to renew certain provisions
of the Patriot Act, which was originally enacted after September 11th
2001. The provisions are set to "sunset" later this year, and among
them is the "bookstores and libraries" measure. "What's
that ?," you say. Well, currently the U.S. government may canvas
for lists of books purchased and read by patrons of either bookstores or
libraries, without their knowledge. Civil libertarians have argued that
such intrusions are a gross violation of privacy and should be curtailed to
court orders after due consideration by a judge.
Bush administration officials
counter with affirmations like;
"Libraries should not be carved
out as safe havens for terrorists and spies. We know for a fact that terrorists
and spies use public libraries..."
Well, why not, give 'em the
lists I say, why not ? Maybe, just maybe people at the Justice Department
and at Homeland Security, will be enthused to read some of the books themselves,
and thereby augment their perspective on knowledge. Can't hurt, can it
? Lord only knows, that increasing knowledge is what this nation needs...
but on second thought, let's dwell on this for a moment;
"We know for a fact that
Aren't those words familiar ?
Yeah, I remember now, Dick Cheney said the same thing, as he waved his right
index finger in the air, gesticulating his thoughts, to confirm to
Americans watching on their TV sets at home, that the government knew, KNEW for
a FACT, that Saddam Hussein, had weapons of mass destruction, and he was going
to use them ! 'We have to stop him now, we can't wait for mushroom
cloud proof.' Yeah, remember that ?
So we are supposed to think that
libraries and bookstores are teeming with spies and terrorists. What are
they doing, hiding in the stacks ? Gathering evidence on kids' reading habits
? Drawing up plans for attacking America by looking up what exactly
? The way testimony is being presented, one would think that other foreign
nations don't have libraries or bookstores that could be used by terrorists and
spies, before they come to America.
"We know for a fact that
terrorists and spies use libraries..."
Gee, maybe the government has a
point there. No really ! Maybe they do. Terrorists and spies
must know how to read, after all they must have gone to terrorist and spy
school, right ? You know what, spies and terrorists are human
beings. Now wait a minute, don't get me wrong, what I mean is they have
human form like everyone else; they walk, run, talk, eat, sleep, and... you
know, other things like the rest of us... right ? Well, if they walk
amongst us like the G-men say, well, what the hell, then let's look for
them everywhere, why stop at libraries ?
They eat, so put cameras
in restaurant parking lots, we are sure to catch them going for 'sit-downs'
with fellow terrorists at some restaurant, somewhere. Just to be
safe, put cameras outside every damn restaurant, across the country. If
they can't eat, then they can't do much of anything else. Same thing for
supermarkets, you can be sure spies must love supermarkets, they can
figure out what American eating habits are like, and what better place to trade
messages, than at aisle nine, next to the dog food. Hardly anybody there
early in the morning or late at night, right ? You know I m
And what about hardware stores,
with all that 'fertilizer' and tools, that could be used for heaven knows
only what. 'Get them cameras outside all hardware stores, canvasing every
customer that goes in and out.'
But, there is one place you are
sure to catch every damn terrorist and spy in the country, and no G-man is doing
anything about that. If they eat and drink, then they gotta liberate
them gasses, so let's check out those bathrooms. Yeah, 'get them cameras
into every bathroom in America, let's make 'em safe for Democracy.' Sure,
forget the libraries, go for the bathrooms !
Posted April 30, 2005
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